It is important to not confuse selflessness with self-denial or lack of self-regard. Although self-denial may be an element of selflessness, it definitely is not the sole component. In addition, selflessness involves a clear understanding and appreciation of self. Knowing who we are and having a keen sense of identity is the foundation on which selflessness is built. In contrast, the opposite of selfless is selfish, which is best defined by the phrase: “It’s all about me.” Ironically such a self-centered approach is actually an indication of identity confusion.

Clearly the most graphic example of selflessness is the incarnation. John describes this reality in the following: “And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14. God takes on human form and becomes one of us. Christ on the cross makes us right with God. Paul summarizes this process to the Colossians when he says: "For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of the cross.”
(Col. 1:19,20)

God takes the initiative. God mends the broken relationship. God corrects our mistakes. God cancels our debt. There is no benefit or gain for God, except to stay connected with His creation. The nature of God is to give freely without any strings attached.

Paul paints a picture of this selflessness in Col. 1:5-8: “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness, And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Christ chose not to assert his divine authority, but rather emptied himself. He knows who he is, but instead takes on the form of a slave. His mantra to the Father prior to his betrayal is: “not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) His purpose as stated in the High Priestly Prayer is “that they may all be one.” (John 17:21)

Selflessness as exemplified by Christ has two parts. The first is a conscious choice to empty oneself and not lay claim to what is rightfully yours. It flows out of a willingness and desire to put concern for others first. The second part has to do with the importance of relationships. Giving of ourselves keeps us connected to God’s creative power. It lives out God’s intention for His creation – that we may be one, just as Christ and the Father are one. It’s all there in the manger.

The following are ways to practice selflessness:

1. Pray for divine guidance. Ask for direction in your life to do God’s will.
2. Practice emptying yourself. Give yourself a time out to be open to the Spirit. Give up so that you can get. Let go and let God.
3. Stay connected. Recognize the importance of relationships and being available to others.
4. Reward selflessness. Let others know that you appreciate their selfless acts.

Affirmation: Not mine but Thine!